Baby it’s…*

Fucking cold. I mean, really actually cold. Fingered** glove weather, even. You know it’s cold when wearing fingered*** gloves is okay, because fingered**** gloves nearly always, at least in my mild and sunny part of the world, completely ridonkulous.***** Seriously, who decided wearing thick cloth over all of your most useful****** appendages, therefore cutting their usefulness and, it must be said, attractiveness by at least half was a good idea? Put him in human jail.

Speaking of human jail*******… I’ve already broken my 365 resolution. I could say I’m sorry, “I’ve been so busy, I really have been working every day and I have class and homework” and you’d say “Really, Weatherly, try to be a little more considerate, you did say you’d be checking in every day” and I’d say “shut up, mom.”

But instead I’ll say: whateva whateva I do what I want.

I have written a few posts though. In my notebook . Which doesn’t help with my blogging initiative, but does wonders towards achieving my dream of becoming a 14 year old girl. I think that deserves a pat on the ass and a congratulations bottle of wine. Rawr.********


*I apologize for this title. I tried to give it new life by abruptly changing the traditional ending to something offbeat and vulgar but alas, it still has that certain lameness about it from which I fear it shall never recover.

**And by “fingered” gloves I mean, of course, gloves that extend out to and envelop one’s fingers, not gloves that are taking advantage of their partner’s dexterity in, say, the back of a Ford Explorer in a church parking lot. Just to be clear.

***Again, this is not dirty. (Unless the gloves have been dropped in mud.)

****See above.

*****I apologize for the use of the word ridonkulous

******This is debatable. Pervs.

*******”Stay tuned for a Human Jail blog post soonish.

********I also apologize******  for the number of asterisks in this post. Like hashtags and a car with no brake fluid, once it starts I just can’t stop it

*********I apologize for apologizing so often, as that can be seen as weak.


Later homies,


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