I started writing tonight. I don’t know if it will be a regular thing, it rarely is. I want to be a writer, I have always wanted to be a writer, and when I am old and am a schoolteacher or a doctor’s aide, or I work with computers doing something not very impressive for people who really don’t care, I will say I am hoping to be a writer, but am not good enough yet. But.
That word I am quite good at. I’m very good at the not-writing of being a writer. The not-being-a-writer part of being a writer. The note-taking and voice acting, and talking with my hands in the car by myself, being interviewed by imaginary fans with microphones, “yes, the ideas just came to me. Yes, it was hard at first, but once I started, the characters just lived. It was really magic.”
I fake-magic because I can’t get myself to type out the sentences that make magic real, the ones that describe it, how it feels, where it comes from, how it hangs heavy in the air. It is as if the stories I want to tell are like the fairy coves in the movie Fairy Tale: A True Story, where this girl finds fairies in her backyard.
If I let the stories stay a concept, they are magical and awesome and full of possibility.
But if I write them down, and make them solid… they could fall flat, pale, and crinkled. Like fake fairies held up for blurry pictures.
Not quite as good as everyone was hoping them to be, and somehow a little sad after all the excitement.
At least… I think that’s what happened in the end of that movie. To be honest, I really couldn’t tell you. That could be the plot of this real life fairy story, which I’m assuming a Fairy Tale: A True Story is based on, though again, because this blog is built on a throne of lies, I’m referencing something I only half-remember. It’s been a really long time and the first time I watched it I just remembered thinking, “wow. this could be cool… but why get famous by faking fairies?” and then everything gets a bit blurry. But the comparison stands. The possibility of failure is very scary, especially when the buildup is so spectacular.
Then again… if the buildup isn’t spectacular, the results are rarely as big a show.
You can really tell I’m a writer from the use of such astoundingly beautiful metaphors. Wow. Much imagery. Very sensical. None confusion.
Also, is this Fairy Tale reference a thing? Also, is that what happens in that movie? I could be confusing it with the real-life version I read about in my random wiki-ing ventures. Oh, internet, you raised me so well. Has anyone seen this movie but me? I feel like I had the VHS like last week, but thinking harder it might have been 3rd grade. Ahh, well. How time flies.
I want to start ending my blog posts with something that could be said in Mr. Miyagi’s voice. Ahh, well. How time flies. One second, you’re on, the next, you’re waxed off.
Some things may be best left in my head. I see that now.